Bored at the office.....

Why do people feed on other’s agenda and don’t mind their own businesses as if they benefit from it? Why are there really hard people to handle? People are getting worse nowadays. Not even thinking that they have their own lives to nurture and develop. Oh, why do I even ask these things when the obvious answer is that these people have nowhere to go and don’t have the chance to rise above the ranks without a dirty fight. Just wish that God bless this people more; they have nothing to wait for but miracles.

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I'm transferring to a new blog. adoseofexcuberanceandmishaps.blogspot.com :) however, i'll be updating it after the board exams. :) follow me there too. THANKS.

JUST FOCUS ROSSELLE.

I've been procrastinating for a week now. There are only 62 days left before the board exams but here I am not studying. Last week I had all the effort in studying algebra and trigonometry but now when my favorite sub-topic of math was on lecture (geometry) I started to lose focus and I do not know why. Its as if something's not right all along. I feel that something's missing. Its as if I'm longing for something. 


Just to cure my anxiety I did everything I wanted to do. I shopped. I dyed my hair and I went to the spa. (so now I'm officially broke) but sadly I didn't find a definite answer to what I've been wanting and searching. Yes the salon and spa somehow made me happy but at the end of the day when I hit my bed and curl up to sleep I still feel empty.


Last night I went to Wensha Spa Delta alone and there I realized alot of things. Sauna, Jacuzzi and a massage alone sucks I know. And I admit since I was alone seeing happy couples leaved me with this awe and envy in my heart. But I had serious "ME" time; time to think of what I want and need. While at the sauna, when sweat was pouring thoroughly I thought of the people who touched my life and left me hanging. I hate it when people start sweet stuff and show me I'm an important part of their lives when they don't actually mean it. I hate inconsistencies and somehow I hate myself for letting them in. Because for a moment they made me happy and the thought of keeping them was good but eventually it will all end up f*cked up. I just wish people would be honest and say "Hey I'm coming into your life but I have no intentons of staying long."


I'm not good at being alone. But I choose to be alone and set up walls to those whom I think are temporary. I admire those people who break the barriers I put up when I isolate myself to the world. Well the thought of isolation is not something I like but I just don't want to get hurt. I've learned. And doing this is just a test to see who has good intentions. As my favorite quote on my favorite tv series "One Tree Hill" goes: "Sometimes you put walls up not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to break them down" But sadly, people whom I meet give up on me easily. I just want someone who'll never give up on me despite my impulsiveness, wittiness and short-comings. I don't wish to be everything to everyone, but I would like to be something to someone.


I pray that everything be better for the upcoming weeks. But for the meantime, just focus ROSSELLE. JUST FOCUS.

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Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.

CLINIQUE GIVEAWAYS ":)

want to win clinique giveaways? read:http://dashashash.wordpress.com/2010/11/02/taking-the-day-off/

L.A.E. - please be kind to me :| please?

applications start on august. yet i still can't find answers if i'd pursue law or not. medyo mabigat pa naman ang 1,300 na exam fee sa bulsa. i'm confused. i'm in between doing something for myself, my future and doing something for my dad.

i'm not in favor of the idea of leaving the PI early 2012. just thinking about it leaves me with an ache in my heart. new environment, new people; adjustments will again be necessary. but i can't deny the fact that i long to be with my dad. after 9 years of being far away i'd really want to thank him by being with him for the upcoming years.

but doing something for myself must also be considered. its been a long time dream and someday i'd really want to serve the public with my knowledge and capabilities.

so please, help me find answers to make the right decision right now. something i won't regret. something i'd be forever happy about. please pray for me.:(

VCF :)

"Abide in me, and I will abide in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, except it abides in the vine; no more can you, except you abide in me. I am the vine, you are the branches. He that abides in me, and I in him, the same brings forth much fruit: for without me you can do nothing" (John 15:4-5).

well, this is going to be my first time to blog about VCF and comparing the person i was before to what i am now i've realized how going to VCF played a role in making the BETTER person i am now; it still changes me continuously and it molds me to become the "somebody" god wants me to be.

i could remember myself cursing god way back when my parents separated late in high school. whenever i pray i don't literally "PRAY" but i converse with god that if he really exists why make me suffer the burden of having a broken family. i could remember one exact line i say every time i go to church: "why not give me the best in life? you're merciful right? then you don't want your sons to get hurt. just like a father loves his daughters..." i was at the wrong path. i was confused and full of hatred. i neglected god. i let satan in my life.

i went to UST to pursue my dreams of becoming an engineer like my dad. i was at my second year when i found "FALSE HAPPINESS" at partying, drinking and dancing saturday night long. i didn't go to church that time since i slept the whole Sunday. but when i come to think if i was really happy upon this activity of mine i found the gut feeling killing me that the only happiness this brought me was the temporary feeling of being in a crowd that wants to be with you and the noise of music at the background. no silence, the ambiance perfect for you not to feel sadness at all.

i was then invited to VCF ubelt by a friend. and i started to change. because right now i don't go to parties anymore. i don't smoke anymore and i'm saying goodbye to bad habits one by one. i started reading the bible and started embracing god with happiness.  i can't explain why. VCF made me realize my worth; what i am in the eyes of god and the people around me. i know i'm not perfect, i'll never be. but with god's guidance i can be the best of who i am and can make most of what i am right now. CHEERS :)