"IT'S NOT LOVE WHEN YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO FORGIVE"

 *this was supposed to be a blogpost last dec 2009 but i just decided to publish it now*

since alot of people asked why. i have finally decided to post what really is the reason behind my unexpected decision. i didn't want to post this at first since i do not want to open a chapter of my life which still gives me this aching feeling and yes i am on the process of moving on. i can't answer the one's who asked in person because i'm afraid to burst into tears. but i guess i have to start here letting the world know why. *sigh* so here goes:

i know alot of my friends hate me for this. they blame me for being so bad, so selfish; but when i start thinking of the factors that made me jump into the decision of breaking up with him i never feel guilty ANYMORE.

its not that i'm selfish because i only thought of myself. but i kept understanding him that i felt that my kindness was abused. he lost effort on us, on me. which hurts. i kept expecting and it turned out that all my expectations were turned down. i just asked for space and he thought of many things. that i had another guy etc etc

i thought this would be the best way for me not to end up hating him. i forgave him alot of times. its not only my fault. he has never forgave me since that decision. and yes, he doesn't even want to talk about it. he gave up on me easily. so please spare me. i guess i need to start moving on. since he's already showing that i mean nothing to him. no texts, no pms... sheesh. what do i expect?? damn!